my true passion rings
audio from my IG post: I feel like I know I have done something right, when I have a friend who gifts me this amazing pussy ring. And I feel like a lot of signs around me are pointing to the reality that if i’m thinking deeply about my passion, it’s really about helping people feel sexually healthy and whole. And I think that I have moved a little bit away from that, have orbited around sex and sexuality basically my whole life, but that maybe I need to take a deeper dive into thinking about how to help people feel sexually liberated, and feel comfortable in the skin that we’re in, and just get rid of all that white supremacist, capitalistic shit that tells us we are not enough.
last night, I had the incredible privilege to be a part of the DTF: Darryl and Timaree Fun Hour’s 10th Anniversary show. it HAS to be the nation’s only, if not longest-running sex ed comedy show. we explored various topics, ranging from a man who got into some serious trouble after he was caught engaging in sexual activity with his dog, to a study that explored folks’ views about nutsacks. yes - this is an ACTUAL study. (spoiler alert: the study concluded that “Ultimately, it was barely possible to identify a “beautiful” scrotum; we must instead speak of the least ugly.”) But I digress.
Talking openly and humorously about all things sex and sexuality felt exciting, it lit my soul up, it felt like a homecoming. And it served as another reminder that I have been saying I want to be the next Dr. Ruth since I was 18. EIGHTEEN! I have been proximal or directly connected to sex and sexuality since “the late 1900s” as the kids say. From working at Planned Parenthood to doing in-home sex toy parties to running an abortion fund. And each role has been deeply satisfying.
I came to Philly to go to grad school at widener for human sexuality education. I initially started off in the dual degree program for a doctorate in human sexuality education and masters in social work. Fairly early on, I realized that I was not called to work within academia, rather I wanted to make sex/uality education accessible to all communities - not just those privileged enough to attend college or a university. Most of us never receive proper sex ed in school or elsewhere, so it really is up to creative individuals and dope-ass community organizations to do this lifesaving, healing work. I am a firm believer that sex ed rooted in pleasure and liberation is essential and must be resourced, sustained, and celebrated.
Along the way, I charted a path towards non-profit leadership - which, in some ways, led me away from the path of sex/uality. I feel really proud, though, that I have always stayed rooted in working to advance sexual freedom. Over the past decade(ish), I:
Co-founded SEXx- a collective that created community sexuality "edutainment" events in Philadelphia for six years - with some fierce and brilliant humans. The events ranged from "TEDx" style presentations to the SEXx Interactive multi-day, multi-media conference. SO many amazing folks came through - as presenters, attendees, and vendors. I miss doing SEXx - maybe it’s time for a reboot?
Created and vended Masturbation "FUN"dies and spoke at the SisterSong Let's Talk about Sex Conference.
While at galaei: coordinated a sex-positive, HIV prevention campaign: Pleasure Rush; led the recreation of the SEXO campaign that included a month-long art installation at the William Way Community Center; and created the Positivo campaign that helped shed light on a long-held, racist myth that Latinos are more homophobic than other groups and helped destigmatize HIV.
Served as an Adjunct Professor in the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University
Created a lesson plan for the Communication Mixtape curriculum with the Women of Color Sexual Health Network, and
Created and facilitated several sexuality workshops including ones around masturbation, gender and sexuality, and abortion + pleasure.
Maybe I haven’t veered off the path at all? Perhaps I just need to take a deeper dive exploration into what I can do as an individual human separate and outside the confines of a non-profit institution. My jam really is about having the freedom to innovate, collaborate with like-hearted folks around the creation and execution of efforts to help us feel sexually free. Maybe, just maybe, what I am searching for is right in front of me. Has been here all along. And I just need to say it out loud (I am getting that final scene from the Neverending Story vibes BIG TIME!!)
Is it true: that I’m the one I’ve been waiting for?! Do I just need to trust the process, trust myself, be still enough to feel for what already is alive and real?!
After all - I am the Passion Doula. I am birthing and rebirthing passion in myself and others. It’s time I own that.
Thank you for coming to my SEXx Talk.
