I've been talkin' 'bout sex for a hot minute
When I was 18, I took a human sexuality class during college. It was my only 8:30am class and you know I never missed it! A funny thought dawned on me - I should be the next Dr. Ruth. She was my hero and one of the first people I remember talking openly and honestly about sex on tv. (I also had my hero dream crushed when I met her one day. That’s for another day.) It really was a joke. At first. Until I shared it with others who said “you should.” They reminded me that I was always the one in school talkin’ about periods, condoms, relationships. So from then on, I proclaimed that I was an aspiring sex therapist. I promptly changed my major from international business to psychology and took my sweet ass time gettin’ to grad school. (that GREs is a FRAUD! I hate her and all her standardized test siblings!)
I moved to Philly in 2004. I went to Widener University and got masters degrees in Human Sexuality Education and Social Work. I learned and became a therapist and sex educator. Having been raised in the non-profit industrial complex since the late 1900s (as the kids say), I managed to make my way into the role of Executive Director. Twice. Even before that, though, I was eager to create community events to talk about sexuality. In fact, I was in the Doctorate (Ed.D) program but left after obtaining my masters because life in academia seemed unappealing to me. Sex education should be accessible to everyone. Core belief.
image from SHE talk blog. More on: How the vibrator came to be
Another belief (that has yet to materialize completely) - I am an entrepreneur. So back while I was at the Mazzoni Center, I created my own business with merch and all. It was called “SHE-talk” (it was supposed to sound like “sheet talk” as in, stuff that happens between the sheets. Yeh - folks didn’t get it then either). I also started a blog by the same name (just over 16 years ago now!) It’s a TRIP to remember that I co-created a community event and led several workshops about masturbation! Of course, the first event was held in May since it IS international masturbation month! (didja know that?)
Another core belief: if we taught young folks about pleasure, masturbation, kink, polyamory, (and more, and more), they would have more autonomy and power, thus making for a healthier society overall. Our country has a long and sordid history with enacting state-sanctioned violence and stripping away agency from entire populations. Wait. Did I say history? Whoops - I mean actively and presently harming Black, Brown, Indigenous people of color, trans* folks, poor people, folks living with a disability.
Will sex/uality education eradicate white supremacist, patriarchal, capitalism? Surely not. But it’s these same systems of oppression that are hell-bent on outlawing abortion, stripping away funding for Black maternal health, passing anti-trans* legislation, and denying access to emergency contraception for rape survivors. Sex/uality intersects with other issues that our society continues to struggle to address: race, class, gender, poverty, ability, just to name a few. I continue to deepen into my purpose - supporting people feel sexually healthy and whole, and stay rooted in their passion so that we can all survive these systems of oppression. And, ideally, have some pleasure while doing so.
