I am the Passion Doula (video)
I shared this at First Person Arts Little Miss Bossy Pants storyslam on March 24, 2023. It’s an excerpt from the longer story you can read HERE. Consider it my “coming out” story where I proudly proclaim: I am the Passion Doula. It was cathartic. And one day soon, I’ll launch the Bubblewrap podcast: a reminder to #ProtectYaPassion where I will talk with dope humans who are living a life of passion.
Some of my dearest friends and family know that right before my birthday, I entered what I came to later learn and describe as a “transformational portal” of sorts. I believe I heard that term on the Finding Our Way podcast, though can’t exactly remember. Two witchy friends and I did a virtual visioning board session right before my bday (Halloween if you didn’t know). That opened up a pathway for an intensified and expedited healing journey for which I was unaware I needed. Around the same time, I went on a social media hiatus (and haven’t really returned - at least not to the over-usage from before). I also began practicing with a generative somatic effort called Healing White Body Supremacy - a practice I will speak to at great length on this blog. Some call it a breakdown, others a breakthrough. A friend shared that Brene Brown calls it The Midlife Unraveling. What *it* was, still IS. The learning, unlearning, falling apart, deep knowing, ancestral communing, shedding and rebirthing is active, it’s ongoing, and there’s no going back to what was before.
During this period of transformation, I was fired. Correction. The Board fired me after having initially accepted my resignation. The reason I was resigning was because I was beyond burned out. Way beyond. I was having anxiety attacks, experiencing insomnia, one night I literally fell asleep crying while holding my cat Justice’s paw (how is THAT for a metaphor). Being terminated from an organization I poured my heart, sweat, and tears into - on top of enduring such an insufferable level of burnout continues to plague my entire soul.
Yet, the flame stayed lit. More than that, that little light of me shone bright and lit the way back to me. A remembering. A spark reignited deep within and revealed the inner-child: the fun-lovin', fearless, brave, teller of truths that always got in trouble for “being too social” and “talking too much.” That’s just how I was born. To live out loud, passionately, unapologetically, and over-the-moon READY to light up others around me, too. I Folx who have been forced to live in the shadows, silenced, shamed, and discarded - I feel you. I am you.
More folks than not, these days, are sharing stories about how they are burned out, exhausted, overwhelmed, not well. Partially due to COVID and partially because of something cosmically happening - I talk with folks who have been taking inventory of their lives and assessing their priorities and purpose. People are hungry for a change. A better way. More peace, joy, rest, pleasure. More folks than ever seem well aware of that capitalism is a sham and our grind culture is dehumanizing us all. It doesn’t have to be this way. Only when we learn how to sustain our passion and remember the spark within, can we keep each others’ sparks glowing. And together? Oh, we will burn brightly.
“i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to feel so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of
us combined
could set
it on fire”
―Rupi Kaur
